Friday, January 30, 2009
My friend, Paula shared an article with me on "Me Time Myth". I then shared it with several others. We then all began to share our thoughts on the article. It has been challenging, thought provoking, and I have so enjoyed it. I was enjoying the whole, bouncing ideas and perspectives on the article she sent me. When she sent it to me, the first time, it was basically, "thought you would enjoy this article". That was it, nothing on her thoughts. So, after seeing both of my sister's responses, it has been sorta growing. This is fun!! So, anyway, I wrote Paula back and said, ok, now, your thoughts. I have so missed this. I do remember the times in our lives, that we did hold each other accountable for what we did, the kind of mothers we were, the kind of wives we were. We would ask each other our thoughts on this or that. I so miss that. One of us was having a hard time in our life, or our marriage, or whatever. And we would feel the need to come together, support each other, bond, and remind each other what our Godly roles as wives and mothers were. We always laughed, supported, and built up. What fun times. Miss them. I do know that we are older and wiser now. I have heard the phrase, "we all have issues" way too many times, and know what it means. I do too much "reading between the lines", I know this. But, that is the way I am. In my marriage, when I want to do something, whatever, when I approach Keith with it, I listen to voice inflection, tone, watch his face, mannerisms, whatever, trying to listen more to his body language?? than what he actually says? Because I do take my calling seriously, at this point in our marriage, that I do not want to give him any reason to be frustrated with me, disappointed in my choices, whatever. Even if his motivation for not wanting me to do whatever it is, is purely selfish on his part. That doesn't matter to me. I want his "clear and direct" feelings of me to always be pleasing. That is not to say that I won't sometimes discuss and beg, teehee, try and get him to see how strongly I want this, but most of the times, I just lay it out there, and watch his response. If there is hesitation, at all, I withdraw the question, and tell him it is not that big of a deal. So, yea, sometimes, I submit, without discussion at all! Because, I am raising a house full of children, that I want them to see, "daddy rules". Right or wrong, agree or disagree, daddy is the authority in this house. If I hear them mouthing about what daddy said, or did, and it is in a negative way towards him, I quickly, reprimand them for it, and remind them, he is way wiser than them, that we were not born 50, we have been down more roads than you will ever understand, and just because you can't see the "logic" in his decision, does not mean you have the right to question it!! That teaches faith........without question, I hope. Trust, without question. Things don't always need to make sense, or look right, or anything. But, to the kids, there always always needs to be "united front". Especially teenagers, are quick to pick up on cracks in the foundation, and will quickly try and work that to their advantage. And in this society, more moms and dads are trying to be friends to their kids/teens, trying to keep the peace, they run "interference" for their kids. And I have done this in the past as well. I will ask "daddy", bring it up, whatever, prepare the ground, so to speak. Mainly, because of my feeling the command, "Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath", is there for a reason. That was a command to FATHERS, not to mothers. Why?? God knew men are more prone to authority and submission for the sake of being in control?? I don't know, I just know that I do try and be peacemaker, when it comes to Keith, and how he handles the issues with the teens. I don't interfere so much with him and the boys, but with the girls, I do. And he will tell me, he appreciates it, because he says, hormones and girls are a scary thing. He says, I could have said that to Adam or Ethan, and bam, it's done. But he says something to one of the girls, and geez, tears abound. And it won't even be a big deal, or a harsh tone!! He will look at me and say, "what just happened?" So, yea, it is a hard complicated thing to be the mom of many, and a Godly wife. But, that is why we need God and his daily inspiration, through His Word!! Seriously, I feel like I can't deal with life, if I haven't done my Bible Study!! It puts my mind in the right place, before it's challenged!! I heard recently, a girl tell me her mother was a "hypocrite". I was taken aback!! I know her mother!! But she went on to say, she will get on to me for dressing immodestly, and then go out the door, basically the same way, or worse!! What I was getting from her? She sees the inconsistency in what her mom does and what her mom says. She sees the way her mom talks to her dad, the disrespect. Obviously, in that home, there are some serious issues going on, and not just with the raising of that daughter. I think I am safe in saying, that her mom was a far piece from setting a Godly example for her daughter. And lacking in teaching her daughter proper respect for her or her dad. Apparently, according to the daughter, the mom puts the dad down constantly, therefore allowing her daughter to see the lack of respect she has for his God given role in the family. So, yea, I get constant reminders, we are being watched, and some are taking notes! And I want my kids to know beyond a shadow of a doubt, I respect their dad and love their dad, and submit WILLINGLY to their dad. Not out of some fake sense of duty, and certainly not resentful of his God given authority and right to tell me what to do. I do joke some times, and say, "I am not the boss of me!" But the truth is, it is freedom to know that all God asks from me is to make my husband happy. If his reasons are not biblical, or don't make sense, or are purely selfish, doesn't matter. He's my husband, and therefore, he will answer to God for whatever decisions he makes in allowing me to do this or that. That is my protection. I freely, gladly, accept it. But more important than that, I want to serve the Lord, with all my heart, and to do that, I believe the Bible teaches me to at least try and be a wise woman, not a foolish woman. In this society, to even admit that my husband has the right to tell me what to do, is crazy. I have heard all the comments, "submission is for slaves". But, I believe the Bible is the true, Word of God. I believe every word of it. No matter what society is spewing. God's word is true, and clear. Ephesians 5:22 - 24 says "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church; and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." You can read it for yourselves, in your own Bibles. There is no room for misunderstanding in those verses. No rationalizing of whether or not the husband merits your submission. My counsel to my friends, when they have come to me with problems with their husbands, or their discontent in their marriage, or whatever, my advice has always been the same. If you are a Christian woman, if you love the Lord, then you must submit to your husband....flat out. No ifs and or buts. There are verses that go on to say, the man can be lead to the Lord, by the actions of his wife. So, even if the husband is not a Christian, it does not relieve the wife from the command to submit. It is Biblical. It's the right thing to do, if we want to please the Lord.