Thursday, January 29, 2015

It is what it is.....

I have not written anything in quite some time.  Mostly because I did not trust myself.  I am going to admit that I am still grieving.  It has been over two years since my momma went to be with Jesus.  She is in a better place for sure.  For many years, I had many discussions with the Lord about the life my sweet momma was now living.  She was the Queen!  She deserved to have a better life than this in her golden years, right?  My momma suffered from Alzheimer's disease.  I was her main caregiver.  A fancy title to describe the "gift" of watching my momma decline before my very eyes, on a daily basis.  Don't get me wrong.  I do consider it an honor to care for my momma.  I did my best to try and preserve her dignity up until the last breath she took.  While going through breast cancer, after several people from church coming up to offer help while I was walking that path, momma turned to me and said, "Deb, I can help you.  What do you need?  Do you need me to come take care of you?"  I hid the smile, but graciously accepted her offer to help me, by packing her bags and bringing her home with me, to my home.  She suffered from Alzheimer's disease, so time meant nothing to her.  After she had been there for a couple of weeks, someone asked her how long she had been at my house.  She turned to me and said, "Deb, is this my third night?"  I agreed with her, and winked at her friend.  Everyone knew, but went along with momma, to preserve her dignity.  Everyone made it a point to never allow momma to realize how far she was slipping.

It is what it is.....