Monday, January 26, 2009
Hello there! This chemo round has been different. The last time, it hit me on the way home, and I was down for like 4 or 5 days. This time, I have been "weak", "tired", but I wouldn't say...down. I have been up, downstairs, helping the kids with their school work. I even have made breakfast twice, and a big pot of onion soup. And it has not been a week yet. But, my daughter, Jen came home this weekend, and brought a friend, (Galina!!). They spent the greater part of Saturday up here in my room, sitting around my bed. Her car has been broke down for a couple weeks, and she finally decided that if it was going to get fixed, she was going to have to bring it to her dad, LOL. She drove it down here, finally. While we were all sitting around chatting, the plan began to come together to get my kiddos up there to the Family Arena, in St. Charles, to the Winter Jam 2009. For those of you not in the know, that is a Christian Concert. With Toby Mac, Hawk Nelson, New Song, plus others. It was only $10 at the door. Jen's room mate, Amanda, is a single mom, with a 10 year old daughter, Jill. She wanted Jill to go to that concert, and was wondering if my kids could come go with them. So, we made arrangements for Jen and Kate to take the burb, which was the needed vehicle to haul all the kiddos to the concert. They took everyone!! Except Ethan, he decided to stay home with us, for whatever reason. Jen kept Emma and Kassy at her apartment, and had movie night, while Amanda and Kate took all the rest of the kiddos to the concert. The rest of the night, my phone was lighting up with pics of my Emma Jean doing this (eating with chop sticks), or that (playing Rock Band). They left Sunday morning around 9:30am, and didn't come home until like 11:30pm. Keith tells me that I pretty much slept the day away. If you ask me, I am gonna say that yesterday was my worst day. What time I was awake, I was nauseated, so he was poking pills down me. Which in turn, sent me back into the sleep realm, because they all cause drowsiness. But today, I got up and took a shower, put on my hair, and tried to look normal, teehee. I don't mind telling you, I am vain. I do not like the way I look in the mirror now. I avoid the look in the mirror. Don't get me wrong. I have never been the kind of woman that fluffs my hair daily. I have told you that already. But, I do like my hair!! I do like the fact that I have hair!!! And now, I don't like the fact that I don't!!! It is like a huge reminder of CANCER. The reflection in the mirror now, is the one you see on all the posters for breast cancer. The bald headed woman. And although I appreciate all the kind words from all my friends, about how beautiful I am, blah.....I don't feel beautiful. But that is just one of the lessons the Lord is teaching me through this walk.