Monday, April 28, 2008

"Shoot up here amongst us....."

Relief just doesn't seem to wanna come these days. Keith has worked one full week in the last 6 months. And that money hasn't all come in yet. We did get "some" money in, but when you are as far behind as we are, it is extremely hard to get caught up quickly. I did send out some money to some of the more persistent creditors.

I put momma on a plane to Colorado last week. This week has been tough. I am sooo use to talking to her every day, twice a day. I was weak the second day she was gone, and called her. She sounded very up beat, so I promised her I wouldn't smother her and call every day. I will let her and Beck have this time. But, I truly didn't know I would miss her this much. I took the kiddos to a concert at my church on Thursday night to see Avalon, Michael English, Cadia and the Daniel Doss Band. It was fun, and I thought of calling her to tell her about it.....but didn't. I took the boys up to mow her grass Friday. While there, Jen called and said she had free tickets to see Barry Manilow Friday night, but she had to work. I thought, geez, of all times for mom to be gone. Keith was up north hunting turkey. Kell didn't want to go. If mom was here, her and I could have gone to a concert. I called my friend Susan Vaughn. She talked to her husband, and called me back and said, yes, she could go!! Cool!! It was fun! Once there and seated, we turned around and saw Mike and Janet Weseman sitting 3 rows up behind us!! I didn't get home until 1:30am!! Keith called and woke me up around 7:30 to tell me he got his turkey! No rest for the weary.....

Saturday, April 19, 2008


Keith finally worked a full week!!! And, and, and, and, got paid! So, he called me from Festus Friday and said, we are going out to eat tonight to celebrate! I said, what are we celebrating, and he said, everything! We are celebrating the fact we worked the first full week in 6 months. We are celebrating the fact that we finally got some money in. We are celebrating the fact that the IRS agent we have been working with says that things are looking good for the OIC to be accepted this time. We are celebrating the fact that the grass is turning green in our fields. We are celebrating the fact that your momma is going to visit Becky finally!! He was in a very good mood. Today, is Saturday, and I am cleaning up the breakfast mess, and then will pack my bags to go spend the night with momma. Tomorrow is the 50 year celebration at FBC House Springs. They are having a special preacher in, as well as a catered sit down dinner after the services, which you had to RSVP and pay in advance. Momma loves that church, but she will not drive over there by herself. So, occasionally, I go up and take her over there. The people go out of their way to give her the "Queen" treatment. And of course, it is good to see the Maharrey's, and give Mary a hug.

Taking advantage of the good weather, I took the boys up to mom's to mow her grass this week. Bob (her neighbor) has already mowed his at least 3 times!! Oh yea, the insurance guy called and said they are going to put a check in the mail to cover the loss of Jen's knife set and her laptop!! That was also welcome news. Her truck has been broken into twice in the last month! The first time, they got her back pack, with her books and her laptop. They also got her knife set. They broke her back window in the truck to gain entry, with a brick, which they left on the back seat in a pile of glass. We fixed the window, out of our pocket, since the deductible was $500. We haven't replaced all the stuff yet, but that didn't stop them from breaking the glass again to see. Again, leaving the brick on the back seat in a pile of glass. I told her to cut a piece of cardboard box, lined with plastic, and tape it up good. I can't afford to replace a window a month!! She is looking for a new apartment, NOT in the CENTRAL WESTEND!! Inside her backpack, was her jump drive, so there was no "back up" plan for her papers due for finals! She had to start over!! But, she said, she had alot of the info still in her head, so she felt she could do it. She is down to one more week actually at the school location, then she has 10 weeks to do an externship at an approved restaurant. Then, she will be a graduate!!

Thursday, April 17, 2008


Hello out there in cyber space! The sun is shinning! The check came in the mail from the individual!!! Yes, there is once again a positive cash flow. Not only that, but the job that Keith did yesterday, paid yesterday!! Love that!! So, today, I am paying past due bills, and that, believe it or not is a WONDERFUL feeling. I hate being late, paying late fees, penalties, making excuses to bill collectors who call. Today, I am sending out money. So, yea, by the end of today, I will more than likely be broke again, but at least, bills are getting paid!!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


This has been an especially difficult winter for us. Now don't get me wrong. My husband has been in the construction business for over 20 years. I know that it is seasonal. I know that it is "feast or famine". I know that in the summer we are rich, and in the winter, we are poor. We usually prepare for the winter by putting away some of the excess money made in the summer, and live off that in the winter. Yes, it is always tight, but we always seem to manage. We eat differently in the winter, and don't go out to eat at all, LOL! Meaning, we make changes in our routine to adapt to our lack of funds. And, we seem to manage just fine. And then came 2007. Not only was I a bit preoccupied with my dad's serious illness, but work was extremely slow for my husband, even during the summer! So, we basically cruised through the year, paying our bills, but not having enough to put back for the winter. And, I don't mind telling you, sometimes the bills went unpaid, or were late, and we had to play catch up. In my mind, it was because of my "full plate" with my dad, and the daily trips to St. Louis. And my husband was "protecting me", by not giving me more to worry about than I already had. It was a crazy year. The IRS decided to show up and want to have a face to face with us regarding tax years 1997 until present. And to make matters worse, the IRS agent met with us on February 8th, 2007. That morning, we are sitting at my dining room table with the IRS agent, and that night we are sitting in a hospital room at St. Anthony's hospital with my dad explaining that they had diagnosed him with ACUTE MYLOID LEUKEMIA. Now that, folks, falls under the heading of ONE BAD DAY!
One morning as we were preparing to leave for the hospital, my daughter comes into our room and wants to know why there is smoke coming from the field down by the road. My husband looks out the window and says rather loudly, "THE HAY IS ON FIRE!" Yes, someone had set fire to 90 of our round bales that we had lined up along the fence, down by the road. Just another "bump in the road". But, I didn't mean to get side tracked, talking about last year. The bottom line is, we are broke. This winter has been the worse winter we have had to endure since my husband first became "self employed". The economy has seriously put a damper on new home construction, which trickles down to our work load being slow. And, without that major part of our business, that explains why our cash flow is non-existent. But, as my husband keeps reminding me, we do have work out there. He has the opportunity to talk to others in this business, and several have told him, they don't even have work in front of them, and they usually do by now. We do! Praise God for that!! The work is there, the phone is ringing, and the job schedule is beginning to shape up. But car is on empty, and unfortunately, so is my bank account. The suburban does have gas in it, though. So, today being TAX DAY, I have running to do. I talked to mom last nite, and although she has been looking over her tax return, which has been done since middle of March, she is nervous about signing in the right place, and would prefer I come up and go over it with her. My husband did a huge job for an individual last week, who told us he has put a check in the mail, and we should be getting it today. So, I wait. My husband has been unable to pay the guys for working with him. But, they have been good to show up and do the work, knowing that if we don't do the work, we don't have a chance of collecting any funds. They are being patient. But this "being patient" is extremely hard. It is hard to wait. This too, is teaching me what is a need and what is a want. We are entering what we lovingly refer to as "Birthday Season" here at our home. It started with Kassidy's birthday, April 13th. Next comes Adam's birthday, April 24th. Then, Jessica's on May 8th, mine on May 12th, Kelly's on May 17th, and Kimberly on June 4th. Then we have a slight break, before Ethan's on July 2nd. Now, folks, that is alot of cake and ice cream. But of more concern right now, is the "expectations". We have always made a bigger deal out of their birthdays than Christmas, as far as what they receive. Christmas is not about them. Christmas is about Jesus! So, we help them understand that, by giving more on their birthdays. Now, we don't go all out, as some folks do. We do have a large family, so everything we do sets a precedent. But we tend to get them one or two things to open to celebrate the day they were born. Looking at all the gifts that are expected, the birthday lists that are beginning to show up randomly on my desk, it is getting harder and harder to stay focused. The bills that are piled up on my desk, that are over 30 days old, some over 60 days! Late fees, penalties, interest, etc. ARGH!!!!! It is downright frustrating. I am trying to stay positive for my husband and my kiddos. We have been on this farm for 13 years. This week, the loggers are down in our bottom field, cutting down my beloved woods, so that we can try and survive this famine. We have already culled the herd down, and taken 13 head of cattle to the market. We are thinning out, cutting back, doing whatever we can to put food on the table and fuel in the vehicles. And continuing to wait upon the Lord. The trials keep coming. The waiting gets harder. But, I know the Lord has a plan. HE always has a plan, and all HE wants from me is trust. I do trust you Lord. I do. Forgive me when my vision gets clouded by the problems and circumstances of my life. I am trying to put one foot in front of the other and walk this path. Just lately, it seems to be up hill, over large boulders, and it seems to be more of a climb than a walk. And yes, I am reminded of the poem someone gave me after daddy died. Part of it reads, "You don't have to be perfect all of the time. He forgives you the slip, If you continue the climb." I will continue to climb. I will stay focused. I will not let my circumstances dictate who I am. I am a Child of God, a child of THE KING!! I will make it, one day at a time, sometimes, one hour at a time.

Monday, April 14, 2008

My Kimberly asked Jesus into her heart!!

Hello folks! This past weekend was one of excitement at the Govero homestead. April 13th happens to be my Kassidy's birthday! On the last Sunday of March, Kimberly Ann Govero asked Jesus to come into her heart! So, we have spent this past week cleaning house, and planning the festivities for a Sunday Celebration. Celebrating Kassidy Lynn's birthday, and Kimberly Ann's "re-birth". Of course, no celebration is complete without Grandparents to help share the day with. In the first part of the week, I made the appropriate phone calls to the church to see if we could set up the baptism for the Sunday of April 13th. Once that was approved, I made more phone calls to inform family members that it was a "done deal", so that they could make decisions on whether they could attend or not. Keep in mind, this IS the last week to work on tax returns and get them buttoned up and ready for the IRS. Now, I know that I am tired and over-worked. But, this week was extremely emotional for me. I can't seem to put my finger on when it started. I seem to have an emotional roller coaster going on inside me. Some days I function "normal" and others, well, not so good. Some little "daddy moment" will pop up, that in the past, I would have called my dad to share something, or chat with online. This week, the emotions were flooding, mainly, because I was planning for my daughter to be baptized by someone NOT my dad. The first one of my children to be baptized by someone else. That was huge. On Tuesday morning, I went searching for Kimberly, since she was not joining us at the table for school. I found her in her room, holding one of the heart shaped boxes that valentine candy comes in, that Grandma had given her. She was crying. I asked her why she was crying, and her response made me cry. "Grandma said this was one of the last things that Grandpa gave her." I think she was just processing the whole baptism thing without Grandpa. I had not said anything to anyone out loud about how I was processing it, much less given any thought to her processing it! By the time Saturday afternoon rolled around, my plan was to get all the details lined out at home as far as clothes for everyone to wear to church, how the meal would be started on Sunday morning before leaving for church. Putting together details of important it was to straighten up the house before we leave for church, since we will be returning there after church, complete with Grandparents in tow. To manage to pull all the details off, without me actually being there to check and double check, I don't mind telling you was driving me crazy. I had already called mom that morning, to remind her that I was planning on coming to spend the night with her Saturday night, so that I could bring her to our church to see Kimmy get baptized. I loaded all my bags in the car, then Keith and I decided to run to town to get groceries and a birthday present or two. While in town, his mom called, and offered to pick mom up and bring her with them to our church!! I gladly accepted the offer, told her I would call mom, and let her know. I then called mom, ran that idea by her, and she said, "that would save you a trip! Sure!" I then called Jean back and told her that mom had agreed to that plan! We then finished our shopping trip and headed back home. After unloading the bags from the car, I started the Saturday night routine of baths and picking out outfits, while Jessy was baking the birthday cake. Sunday morning was a crazy as ever, but we got the house straightened up and roast in the oven, and headed out the door for church. The grandparents were already there when we arrived. Kelly, my oldest daughter arrived shortly after us, then my next oldest daughter, Jenna, who is attending college in St. Louis, arrived shortly after her! They both had fellows on their arms, so we had quite a crowd! We enjoyed the service, and headed back home to enjoy the food and fellowship with family. It was a day with priceless memories that I will forever cherish. God is good.