Sunday, January 18, 2009

As children bring their broken toys
In tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my Friend.
Instead of leaving Him,
In peace, to work alone
I hung around and tried to help
In ways that were my own.
At last I snatched them back and cried,
"How could You work so slow?"
"My child," He said,
"What could I do? You never did let go!"

I received this little poem from my mom's Cousin Bill. Thanks, Cousin Bill!! This morning was so emotional at church. It was the first time I have actually worn my wig out in public where people actually know me, so yea, I was a bit nervous. During the music portion, the Lord began to move people. First one went up, and after sharing something with Bro. Carl, he would hand them the mic, and they would share with us. Then, another, then another. One of the girls that gave her testimony, was the girl I had lunch with on Friday. Before Friday, I didn't know her that well. I mean, I knew who she was, but not much else. She is way younger than me, so we don't exactly run in the same circles. But, because of my cancer, because my name is on the prayer list at church, because her mom owns a wig shop, for whatever reason, the Lord laid it on her heart to call me and encourage me. She shared with the church family, that her intentions were to encourage me, but she shared that we didn't even talk about cancer, or anything else that she knows that I am going through right now. We just talked of kids, homeschooling, husbands, work, just normal girl stuff. She said, I left there encouraged!! I was just crying, I am telling you. I so enjoyed getting together with her, and her step mom, and her real mom. Just us girls, laughing and cutting up. It was a wonderful afternoon. I definitely was encouraged. These ladies are amazing. And this morning at church, she brought up other lady friends of hers, and introduced me to them. But, I have gotten sidetracked. I was telling you about our service this morning. So many people began to share their testimony, that Bro. Carl did not get to preach! I love my church. So many people came up to me after church to ask about my treatments, find out how they were affecting me, when I go back next, etc. It is such a loving church. The girl that leads our Beth Moore Bible Study on Daniel, offered to come to my house to help make up any of the lessons that I have to miss because of my treatments! Of course, I told her that was not necessary. I can do my own bible study at home, I don't need a leader. The "draw" for me, was joining other ladies to hear their perspectives on the verses, their interpretations, their thoughts. Not to mention, the incredible bonding that always happens with ladies in your bible study group.

I did call my mom this morning, to see if she mentioned anything about her hair, or how short I cut it. She didn't, but then, she admitted that she had not done anything yet, she was moving slow this morning. I asked her if she was planning on going to church today, she could still make it if she picked up the pace a bit. She laughed, and said, I'll pick up the pace. I did call her before our church started, like 10:15 or so, and I got the answering machine, so I guess she did. I haven't called her yet, this afternoon to find out what others said about her hair. But, I feel the need to share the difference between my mom now, and my mom, say, last weekend. Remember, last weekend, she was in "lock down mode". I couldn't make any suggestion at all. She was going to make all her decisions, no matter what. Friday night and Saturday, she was back to her easy going self. If she doesn't feel threatened, she can take suggestions, and even agree with you on something. She is much easier to get along with. I am still praying about the plan to get through this next round of chemo, without sending mom into a pit of depression again. I know the Lord has a plan, He just hasn't shared it with me yet, LOL! And, I am trying to put it in my Jesus Box.........and leave it there.

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