Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Good morning out there! As I write this from my warm and cozy home, it is 18 degrees outside, and we are in the middle of a huge weather mess. So huge, in fact, that the news crews from St. Louis are sending crews to Festus City Hall to "monitor the impending 6 - 8 inches of snow" they are forecasting! Down here in the country, we have a layer of ice and sleet, and are now getting some snow on top of that. And they say, round 2 will be here around noon or after today! Woot! Woot! What can you do? Settle in, throw another log on the fire, and enjoy it. In my recent days, I have been having some troubling conversations with some friends regarding the role of women these days. As I pointed out yesterday, in my blog, after listening to Nancy Leigh DeMoss's radio program, as I often do, I discussed this subject further with close friends. Way back when, when we all began to brave the un-marked trail of homeschooling, it was not so widely accepted as it is today. Just to put it in perspective, my son, is going to be 27 this year. He was home schooled. Today, he is married to his first girlfriend. Our first pastor when we moved down here to the country, had a beautiful daughter! They were both about 14 then. Today they have been married 4 years, and have a beautiful son, Ruger, who turned 2 in November. Back then, when we all got together to "socialize" our children, we all were so very conservative. If you have been around for any length of time, you should smile when I talk about our home school uniforms of long denim skirts with flat white tennis shoes. We were easy to pick out from a crowd. We wore the uniform proudly!! We wanted people to know who we were, and what we did, and why we did it! And that was just homeschooling! I am not going to paint the perfect picture of my son's marriage, it has had it's rocky times. Anytime two people come together to join their lives, they come from different back grounds, different perspectives on the roles each of them will play in the marriage. It is so much deeper than those that will try and say, "he squeezes the toothpaste wrong", or "he leaves the lid up", etc. The differences that tend to cause cracks in the foundation of a marriage are way deeper than that. Like how they both feel about the role of the wife, and the role of the husband. The first really really big crack in my son's marriage came last year, around January, I think. They were going through the motions of the "happy marriage", because of all I was going through with my dad, and the leukemia walk, they were not going to let us, their parents, know what was really going on. When it finally reached a point, they could no longer hide the tension, I questioned my son. He confessed he did not want to lay that on my plate, along with everything else. Without going into too much detail, I just want to share some of what I learned through that period of their lives. Older women are not teaching younger women to be keepers at home. The stay at home mom is not honored by many these days. Not even in the churches! Another example of deception. Titus 1:16 says, "They profess that they know God; but in works they deny him, being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate." That verse speaks volumes. They profess that they know God. Does that say, for instance, they talk the talk, but don't walk the walk? While trying to counsel my son, and his wife through that, I had the opportunity to have a very lengthy conversation with one of my daughter-in-law's family members. I was not very far into the conversation, when I realized we did not agree on very basic beliefs of what the Bible teaches on submission to authority of your husband. The conversation lasted well over an hour, and the more we talked, the more nervous I got. I finally did my best to end the conversation at a point, that would allow us to continue to be "family" and civil to one another!! It is all so connected to the whole deception theme. This society we live in today, is doing it's best to drown out submission to authority of any kind by women when it comes to men. That is just not gonna happen! We are equal! Who says they have the right to have the final say-so on anything we do? Well, God does. Just another example of what you won't know if you don't research the scriptures. Don't take my word for it. Read it for yourself. Unless you are busy doing other more important things. Read down through 1 Timothy 2, slow down around verse 12. None of us are comfortable with people being able to tell us what to do. That is our sin nature. Submission is hard. But faith in God, makes it possible. I have failed many times in my married life to properly honor my husband, properly submit. But, having the relationship I have with my God, He never fails to convict me of that. And I will re-focus. It's not enough to just re-focus. I have to allow my husband to see that I am re-focused, and allow him to see God's love and honor working through me towards him. Sorry, that does not allow room for resentment, or a false sense of "duty". My sister, Beck, shared with me once, that her husband told her, that you don't get credit for submission if your fussing the whole time! I have never forgotten that wisdom! Thanks Buck! I do admit, that I do try and give my opinion on a given subject from time to time, sometimes louder than others, to my husband, when we are discussing something. But, when it comes down to the final decision, I know, it's my husband's to make. God will hold him accountable for however it turns out, not me. All God asked me to do was love my husband, submit to my husband, be his helpmeet. In real words that means, do whatever I can to make life easier for him. Do whatever I can to help him not feel stressed. Do whatever I can to make him happy. That is not being taught by the older women to the younger women!! But, I am going to try and change that............

2 comments:

Anita Koller said...

The curse of Eve does haunt us does it not?

Paula said...

I was talking to my mom about this post this morning. I was not raised to be submissive - neither was my mom, so there you go! But as I have four sons, what I try to do now is model what a submissive wife is, so that when they go looking for a wife they can look back at mine and their dad's marriage and that can be something they want for themselves. I want them to be strong Christian men like their dad, and hopefully I can set a good example of a Christian wife and mother. There are days when my example is probably more "what not to do" - but we just keep on learning and growing together.