Saturday, March 14, 2009

Ok, let's start a discussion on relationships and friendships. I have been giving this some thought lately. How we tend to throw this terminology around pretty loosely. We are quick to call someone friend without having any real guidelines to go by. I mean, what constitutes a friend? Is it someone you talk to regularly? Someone you see regularly? Someone you spend time with regularly? How exactly do you decide who is a friend, and who is an acquaintance? And what is the difference between a friend, and someone you have a "relationship" with. The dictionary says that Relationship is:
1. The condition or fact of being related; connection or association.
2. Connection by blood or marriage; kinship.
3. A particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other:

Ok, so there you have it. In plain black and white print. Obviously relationship is attained simply by kinship, by being related. Friendship on the other hand is different by definition.
Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Let's think about that definition for a while. I feel very blessed to have friends such as this definition implies. Dear friends, that are now, and have always been... there for me. Friends that are there, when the rest of the world walks out. I am extremely thankful for them. It is those friends that are always there to lift me up, spiritually if that is my need. Physically if that is my need. They always seem to know when I need a phone call. They always seem to know when I need more than a phone call. They are God given blessings. They have been there to pray with me, as well as for me. They know me, inside and out. These are the people that I can count on to hold me accountable. I welcome their accountability. I love them, and thankfully, they love me. I do not seek the praises of mankind, but I appreciate the love and friendships I have. Yet, being as blessed as I am, I still from time to time, let my guard down, and mistakenly think that someone is my friend, when in reality, they are just relationships. And it is usually in those relationships that I sustain the most hurt. My daddy used to say, the greatest weakness is an un-guarded strength. I got comfortable, let my guard down, and bam, I am blindsided. I thought the relationship was strong, so I was not guarding it. I now realize it was not a friendship to begin with. I wanted it to be a friendship. I wanted it to be a friendship bad enough to believe that it was. Now I know you can't "force" a friendship. It is what it is, or it ain't. That's the cold hard truth of the matter. Like the old saying says, "you don't get to choose your relatives, but you can choose your friends". But the truth is, for it to work, the friends have to choose you back! Otherwise it is a one-sided relationship, with one of you doing all the work. That's not fair to either of you. And for it to really be a blessed friendship, there has to be trust. Without TRUST, there is no friendship, much less relationship. So, if you have friends, friends you can are blessed. Thank God for them!!

1 comment:

Paula said...

I think we tend to confuse "friends" and "aquaintances". I have LOTS of acquaintances, people I can visit with, whose company and conversation I enjoy. I have recently discovered that I too have confused the two.

I really don't have that many people that are really friends.

I have a lot of acquaintances that I actually see more often than I do my real friends. But my friends are the ones that know me for who I am and will talk to me anyway!