Monday, March 9, 2009

I know what to expect. I am already familiar with the "routine", but I still don't like how He is "making me lie down beside green pastures". I am grateful to look outside my window and actually see my pastures turning green! That is a welcome sight, no doubt. My husband is getting to work, and money is beginning to come in, slowly but surely. We were able to get the satellite turned back on, much to the delight of my husband. I don't really care for the television and all the "distraction" that it offers to my family, but it does seem to comfort my husband. When he is trying to plan out his jobs, it does help him to be able to call up the weather on all the different weather channels, from local to national, to help him make the difficult decisions on which job would be the best one to try and tackle in between the "chance of rain and showers" here and the radar that gives them a window opportunity wide enough to actually get something done over here. Hard decisions, no one else wants to make. The contractor wants it done, needs it done, yet is unwilling to "make the call", knowing that he doesn't want the responsibilities that go with "eating the mess" if they get rained on, once the concrete is poured out and on the ground. That would be the pressure of my husband's decisions these days. But, God has been good, and has been letting the phone ring, with jobs that can be done, in the small window of opportunities that God is providing. We will go from having nothing on the schedule, to a phone call, and suddenly, we have somewhere to go in the morning! Thank God!! We are not getting rich, but God is providing for our needs, as He has for so many years. That is the exercise of the faith muscle we have come to love. I truly love those God moments, where He does step in, step up, and remind us in the darkest moments that He is still watching over us, and yes, taking care of us. In this struggling economy, as the TV/radio/newspapers all like to constantly remind us, that we are all going to hell in a hand basket, and that it is going to "get worse before it gets better", gloom and doom, it is relaxing to have God gently remind us that He is still there, still on the throne, and yes, still in control of this world. I have called down to check on my mom, while she is in Little Rock, visiting with her friends. Mostly, I talk to Thelma or Martha, since this is the week after my chemo, and my voice is extremely weak. Mom picks up on that pretty quickly, and starts asking questions. Within an hour or so, I will get a phone call from Martha or Thelma to reassure me that mom is fine, and they have reassured her that I am fine. I am so grateful for those dear dear friends. Of course, this trip may be more of an eyeopener to them all, to allow them all to see how they are all a little "further down the road" than they thought they were. That they do need a little help from their family. I know that my mom went down there on a mission, "to talk Martha and Tom into moving back closer to her and Thelma, back to Missouri". But, now, I am thinking she has come to realize that they are not healthy enough to move again. Of course, she said she was also gonna work on Thelma, and work out a plan where they could take turns staying "a month at my house, then a month at her house". Of course, these are just mom's ideas and plans. I wonder how that plan is going over with Thelma? They are all pretty set in their ideas of "my house is paid for, and I want to stay in my home as long as I can by myself." That feeling of independence that they are clinging to. Funny how they all have that same mentality, yet want each other to change to come with them, so they won't be so lonely. I am sure God has a plan here, we will just have to wait and see how His plan plays out. That is the hardest part of all this. The waiting. Yesterday's sermon was on "Be still and wait". How hard, in this society of cell phones, ipods, tv's, radios, etc., how it was even possible to be still long enough, be quiet enough to even hear, much less recognize God's voice, when He was trying to get our attention. How we have a tendency to think God is not answering our prayers, or worse, ignoring our prayers, when in reality He is just waiting for us to be still enough to wait and listen for his answer or response. I have to admit, for me, these days, that is easier to do. This is a busy season for me, normally. Tax season. But, the Lord has a different plan for me these days. I find myself, waiting, for the strength, for the brain cells to talk to each other, waiting on the Lord. In the meantime, I am resting in the peace that God has a plan, and eventually, maybe, He will share it with me? I am trying to be patient.......Lord, truly I am.

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