We left the house yesterday morning at 6:30 am. My very faithful husband and I. It has rained every other day for the past week. Wednesday, it was beautiful. I urged him to work, I have several friends that have offered to take me. It's no big deal....it will be fine. He wasn't buying it. We arrived at the 7th floor labs to get my blood drawn. Again, my trusty port did what it was expected to do. It worked!! No pain when they accessed it! I have learned the art of applying the lidocaine creme on it in generous portions so that I don't feel any pain when they access it. My lab appointment was at 8:15 am. I was called back by 8:20. Then I signed in for the chemo lab appointment by 8:30. My appointment was not until 9. They called me back there within 10 minutes....wow! I told them about the Benedryl knocking me out. They called Dr. Ellis and got the dosage adjusted. This time wasn't as bad as last time, but it still knocked me out, just slower, and not as long. I vaguely remember Keith nudging me a couple times, because I was beginning to snore, teehee. We were leaving the hospital by 12:30!! Jen had called asking us to come where she works for lunch. So, once leaving there, we went to have lunch at the Tap Room on Locust Street, downtown St. Louis. Yum! Then we drove through the loop, and headed for Kell and Jen's new apartment. Keith made his walk through inspection. We then drove around the neighborhood, again, getting a feel for it. We then headed south, leaving the city. We stopped in to visit with his mom and dad. We don't do that often enough these days. It was a wonderful visit, and Jean being Jean, brought out food and fed us. She said she had fixed a roast for Sunday and no one had come!! So, she brought it out, and heated it up. I laughed, and said, "Now Jean, next time you are putting roast in, and wanting company, don't leave it up to chance, call me!! I can bring veggies, and add to it! Call us!! At around 6:30, we left there and stopped at FBC Festus to pick up a book and some dvds and it is Wednesday night, so we visited with several people there as well. It is so good to visit with people we miss spending time with and seeing on a regular basis. And I think it is good for them to see me, up walking around, being "normal". It helps slow down the tendency to "embellish the story" when talking of how I am doing and my cancer. This is not leukemia, and such a different walk, not nearly as hard as the walk we were on with my daddy. There are hard days, but they are sprinkled in and around good days, so God is faithful to help me continue to be positive, even though this is a hard path to walk, that no one wants to walk. I did ask my doctor about the weight gain, and that is a side effect of the steroids. Weight gain, go figure. I teasingly asked Keith last nite, "it's a good thing this happened to us after 29 years of marriage. Because, otherwise, it would be so much harder to know that you still will love me and be attracted to a 51 year old fat and bald woman!" He's such a good sport about all of it. A real trooper, that man. He's not exactly what I prayed for, LOL, but he is the answer God gave me, and for that I am eternally grateful. I love him. He is such a good caring man. That is the best part of faith, knowing that even if we don't know what we want, God does. He not only knows what we want, He knows what we need. I love the peace that comes with knowing that. I can truly trust the God that created the universe, to know what I need and want for every situation. As I have shared with you before, things have been so tight these past few months. Saturday, we had some very dear friends come for a visit. They brought in food, and brought fellowship as well!! They handed us a card, and encouraged us to open it now. It included a love offering. God had laid it upon their hearts to help us out financially. I cried. It is hard to accept what society has deemed "charity", but I know better than to argue with God, or God's people. We accepted that gift, and are just so amazed, yet again, at how big God is. And the day is not over yet. When the kids brought in the mail, there was a big envelope from BJC (Barnes Jewish Children's). Now, that is also how some of my bills/statements come. So, thinking, great, here is a bill. I opened it up, and it had words that alluded to the fact that it was some sort of partial refund from an overpayment we had paid on the acount for Kimberly Govero. Now for those of you that don't know, or remember, when Kimmy was 18 months old, she had a hole in her lung, and spent a week in Children's hospital, connected to machines that kept her lung from collapsing. Which, keeping an 18 month old still enough to not pull the machines apart from her and cause beepers to alarm the personnel, was more of an issue than all the medical issues combined. And, to put it in perspective, I was pregnant with Kassy, while leaning over the hospital bed to care for my baby girl and keep her still and happily occupied with still activities. Memories.... Anyway, we had no insurance, so we were setup as self pay, uninsured. We paid a monthly payment on the over $17xxx bill for the next 5 years. It was like us making a car payment, only on my daughter! Well, according to this notice, they had determined (8 years later??) that we were overcharged, as uninsured, and overpaid, and they were refunding some of that! It was a check for $4126.26!!! Wow, what a day!! I just cried and cried most of that day. God is sooo big, and so incredibly good to us. Needless to say, I spent that money Monday, paying alot of our over 90 days bills. I did not use that for any that are due now. Only for the "old" ones. Praise the Lord!! On another note, mom was not having a good week this week at all. Her good days and bad days can be directly connected to the weather. We have had some yuk weather this week, rain, wet snow, cloudy cloudy days. These days she can't sit out in her swing, she won't get out and drive in it (PTL!), so she is stuck in the house, by herself, and she gets lonely and depressed. I helped Kell and Jen move this week, so Tuesday, I was on the way up there with a loaded truck, and called mom to see if she wanted me to stop by and pick her up, so she could ride up and see their new place. She said, sure, I'll be ready! So, we stopped in, rearranged all the stuff in the back seat, making room for Adam to move to the back seat, so we could put mom in the front. Then knocked on the door, and mom answered, still in her gown, no makeup, nothing. Mom! You said you wanted to go with us, and you would be ready. She said, it's raining, I don't go out in the rain! I said, mom, it's sprinkling, and besides, my truck is clean and dry, and we will be sitting in the apartment while they carry the stuff in, and we will be clean and dry. I'll wait, go get dressed! It's not big deal, we'll wait. She would not be moved. So, finally I gave up, and loaded the boys back up and we left her there. By the time we got to Kell and Jen's, the clouds were breaking up, the sun was popping out, and it was a nice day. But, mom was sitting in her house, alone, circling words in her word book. I could just tell it was not going to be one of her good days. She was more confused than normal. When we left the apartment, we stopped in to visit with mom. When she answered the door, she saw the sun shining! I said, lets sit out in the swing for a little while. We did! The boys grabbed her basketball, and began to play while we watched. She asked questions, like "when is Beck coming through?" "June, this summer, that is their vacation." "What month is this?" "March" "Oh, this is my birthday month!" "Yes! You turned 72 last week! Remember? We had cake, ice cream, presents, out to lunch at Bandanas, Jen and Kell came and cooked for you that night?" "Hmm, I guess". I could tell, she was not remembering that. I hate these days. It is so hard to see her on those days. I prefer the perky days!!! But, I kept reminding her that tomorrow would be Wednesday, her Bible Study day. Sure enough, when I called her Wednesday morning, from the waiting room, she said, I am sitting out in my swing, but I am planning on going down to the bible study at 1 o'clock. She sounded a little better, but still somewhat down. I called her again around 1:30, and sure enough, got the answering machine with my daddy's voice on it. That always gets me again. But sometimes, I do call it when I know she is not there, just to hear it. When I called her last nite, she sounded much better, perky!! We talked of the bible study, and how she loved to be with the people, and hear a good Bible Study teacher. Thank you Lord!! Love hearing my momma more like my momma. We then talked of Kell and Jen's new apartment issues, and filled her in on those details. But, ended the day last nite, on a good note...momma was better. This morning, I got the answer machine again. So, my friend Paula had talked of taking her to breakfast on Thursday, so even though mom didn't mention it last nite, maybe, that happened?? Or, she was in the swing without the phone.....again. I will try again later. God is good. Have a good day folks! I am finishing up tax returns!! Can't wait until they are all done!! Ugh, I hate this time of the year!! Thanks for the prayers folks....I truly can feel them. God is doing a good work in me. And he is patient with me, the headstrong, pushy, domineering and severe Adams girl. Teehee