Happy New Year! I have been doing a lot of thinking and pondering over this idea of "suffering for Christ". What does that mean exactly? I don't mean to sound all holier than thou, but if it is the Lord's will that I suffer, and it is the Lord's will that I suffer for a long time, am I suffering for Christ? And, even worse, does that mean I am supposed to be "glad in it"? Don't tell me you haven't given any of this any thought before, when your life was turned upside down. This has been an exceptionally hard time for our family. My son's wife left him, and says she wants a divorce. She left him several months ago, and took his son, my grandson. She is being "good about it". She lets Nick see Ruger anytime he wants. But that is not every night, which is what Nick really wants. While she is at the home of her mom and dad's house, she has people around her, someone to talk to. Nick sits at home, in an empty house. And with this season of our life, comes winter, which means, he is also sitting at home alone most of the days as well. Work is extremely slow, worse this year than any year I can remember. Nick needs the distraction of work, to give his mind something else to focus on besides how lonely he is without his family. Hard times are so much easier to get through when you have someone by your side, to go through those hard times with you. I have even been looking on Craig's List trying to find him a job! A different job, one that perhaps is not so weather related? I asked him if he wanted to go to school, and he said no, he felt like work would pick up and if he could just make it through the next couple of months, he would be fine. His wife, has filled out all the paper work needed for her to go to school. She is a "single mom", so therefore, the government is picking up the tab, she is going to school on government grants. And yea, if Ruger gets sick, or she gets sick, again, she is a "single mom", so you guessed it, the government will pick up the tab. This society is set up to reward divorce. What a huge carrot that is to dangle in front of young women these days. If you divorce your husband, your money problems will be over?? We will take care of you medically, and you can go to college for free. I know this is a real hot topic for both sides of the fence. I know people that actually need the government to help them, since they are single moms who could not make it without the government helping them. There is just no good answers here. I just know that society in general, our tax breaks in general, reward those that choose to walk away from their marriage. There is way more support out there for single moms. Where is the help for the single dads? O.K., I need to move on to a different subject.

Mom has been doing well. Even my kids have noticed that she has been more "settled", and not nearly as irritated. Woot! Woot! Thanks for the prayers people! Of course, we have not been going and doing very much. As long as momma stays pretty close to her routine, she is easy to get along with, she is an easy keeper, LOL. And maybe it has something to do with her sleeping schedule? If she goes to bed early every night, like say 6, she sleeps until 9 or so, she wakes up in a good mood. Her closet fell down on Christmas morning. We fixed it that morning, with a temporary fix. Yesterday, we picked up one of those closet organizers with the wire shelving and put it in for her. The whole time we were in there putting that together, she was asking why we were doing that, she wasn't aware that the closet rod broke, and who broke it, and it wasn't her that broke it, etc. Oh well, we are getting used to that kind of behaviour. The things she does remember and the things she doesn't remember still amazes me. She does frequently get her stories mixed up, the details from a story from years ago, mixed in with a recent story is not uncommon. As we drive past the small church next to the interstate 55, she starts to tell me a story, "I never pass this church without thinking about your daddy and about Bro. Godair, and how he wanted your daddy to fill his pulpit, but your daddy never got the chance. I wonder if Bro. Godair is still the pastor there." I am pretty sure that Bro. Godair pastored a church down around Portageville, where I graduated high school. Or, as we pass a restaurant, she will say, "we used to go to that restaurant with another couple every Friday night, and then go home and play dominoes with them every Friday night". The restaurant we are passing is always different, but the story is always the same. Today, she picked up Kim's Bible, and opened it up and said "Look at this! I have never heard of this! You have heard of the New Testament? This is the Old Testament!" I nearly choked on my coffee!! Yesterday, she looked at her jacket and said, "this is the first time I have worn this jacket this year. I haven't worn it in a long time." I said, "well, momma, it is the first time you have worn it this year because it is January 3rd, 2011!" She laughed, and the moment passed. Never mind the fact that she has worn it to church the past two Sunday's. Life is sure interesting living with an Alzheimer's patient. Like one lady said, "you've seen one Alzheimer's patient, you've seen ONE Alzheimer's patient". Every one of them is different, yet every one of them have some common ground. There are similarities in all Alzheimer's patients, yet each and every one of them travel this path at a different speed.

My window of opportunity has closed at this point, so I will write about my doctor's appointment today, later. Perhaps tomorrow? Bottom line, I am healing good and it is time to schedule Phase II. My surgery was scheduled for February 2nd. Report to the hospital at 6:15am. Plan to be in the hospital 2-3 days, perhaps one drain. Here we go again......ready or not.