It seems that my time for writing is getting less. Life is busy, and although we moved to this farm of 116 acres possibly believing the old myth that "life on the farm is kinda laid back", we have been enlightened! With all that is going on in my life these days, it just seems to be busy all the time. I do cherish the days that are less busy, the days that I actually get time to sit on my deck with my morning coffee and have my quiet time with God. I do have my time with God, daily, don't get me wrong, it is just that on some days it is not as quiet as on other days. But, I could not get through any of my days without my time with my God, my Lord, my Saviour. It is what gives me the strength to get through what is on my plate. It is now count down to when I leave to take my momma to her timeshare she has on Daytona Beach. We have been to all her doctor appointments that were made after her recent stay in the hospital. All these were "follow-up" appointments so they could see her and evaluate her before we leave for Florida. She has passed all their tests, and they have given her their blessings. As we left the neurologist's office Wednesday morning, she said, "well, I am now free to roam about the country!" She commented how much she liked this doctor, how he was funny and friendly, and how some doctors were so stiff it seemed they would break. But this one, she liked, and he was very friendly and "real". And he had commented on the difference between this Mrs. Adams and the other Mrs. Adams he had met back in the hospital. He liked this Mrs. Adams better and hoped to always see her this alert and coherent. He said, "if you promise to call me if any problems arise, I will go ahead and give you all the prescription renewals now, and we will not need to see you until say, February." Mom looked at him and said, "well, if I don't, she will!" We all laughed, and he gave us the scripts and we were done. But, being it was Wednesday morning, and here we were in St. Louis, gee, what could we find to do???? LOL! Mom spotted numerous yard sales on the way up there, but I had put her off because of the doctor appointment. Now, however, we were done, and it was just now 9 o'clock! So, yea, we stopped at several yard sales on the way home! Of course, as it usually is when shopping with mom, she finds all these things that I cannot live without, and just knows I need. And when we were finished, and I was out of spending money, my car was loaded. My seats were laid down, and stuff everywhere. What did mom buy? Hmm, a picture frame, a doll and a really pretty Christmas centerpiece. Wait, maybe a pair of shoes? Anyway, it was fun, and well worth the fifty cents I paid for that ugly shirt that nobody is gonna wear, LOL. We got back to mom's by 11 o'clock or so, and I fixed us some lunch. After resting in her chair, she was ready to go to her Bible Study at FBC-Festus. So, we got up and out the door we went again. I do enjoy that as well. Bro. Vittoe always does a very thought provoking study, and this month he has been doing James. And yes, I love that book of the Bible and always enjoy a good study on James. Once the study was over, we went back to mom's and after a little rest, and putting some supper together for mom, I headed out the door for home. Thursday morning, I got the call I had been waiting for from Joanie, my Mastectomy specialist. She had been looking for some mastectomy swimsuits for me. Here in Missouri, it is way past time for those to be out, and all the suits left are the ones that are picked over and sizes no one wears, teehee. But she was calling to say she had found 5 for me to choose from!! Woot Woot!! I got in my car and headed to F'ton. I tried all of them on and then ended up deciding on the first one I tried on! It's always like that, isn't it? But hey, I am now ready, officially, for the Florida trip. I do still have 2 more doctor appointments for me. This coming Wednesday, I have my Herceptin treatment. And August 31st, I have my radiation mark-ups and tatts. That is gonna be an all day appointment. She said they will lay me down, I will raise my arms to hold onto a bar, and they will pour plaster around me (??) and make a mold, so that every time I come in for radiation, I will have to put my arms inside that mold to be sure that I am in the exact same position every single time. And once they get me in that position, they will make marks on my body at different spots, and make them semi-permanent. I questioned that, and she said they will last for a year or two before beginning to fade away. Oh well, maybe I will get some others to add to the dots and put something that resembles Orion's Belt! LOL! Or the Big Dipper?? ok, the little dipper?? Anyway, life is fun these days. My continued prayer is that the Lord will continue to give me the peace that passes all understanding, because it is that peace that allows me to drink from whatever cup He sets before me. Life is full of hard choices, but what sets us apart is how we respond to the things in our lives. My daddy used to say, "you can sit all the cups on the table, but you cannot tell what is inside them, unless you shake their foundation, what they are sitting on. That is when what is inside, comes spilling out. That is when you can really tell what is inside someone." I have had my share of melt downs lately. I do hope that no one uses that to measure what is inside of my heart. Because daddy used to tell me too....no matter what your mouth says, the Lord knows what is truly inside your heart of hearts. And inside my heart of hearts, I want to please God in everything I say or do. So, when I fall short of that mark, the mark that everyone has for how a Christian should act, or talk, or dress, I do hope that I have not caused my Lord shame in my appearance or my actions. But when I do, and I know that I do, I apologize. I am weak. And when I let my emotions get the best of me, it is not pretty. We as adults are often confronted with hard choices. As adults, we cannot run away and hide, or say "I am not ready for this". I was not ready for my daddy to call me and tell me he was in St. Anthony's and they had diagnosed him with Leukemia. I was not ready to spend a year going back and forth to St. Louis University Hospital, or various doctor appointments associated with that diagnosis. I certainly was not ready for my daddy to leave us and go home and be with his Lord Jesus. I wasn't ready for my momma to be diagnosed with "Dementia, possibly of the Alzheimer's type". I was not ready for the diagnosis of Breast Cancer. I was not ready for chemo. I was not ready to lose my hair. I was not ready to lose my breast. This has not been an easy walk these past 3 years. But through it all, my Lord has been faithful and true. He has never failed to walk this walk with me, even when it was hard and it seemed I couldn't walk it. I have learned many things through this walk, and part of the learning has been painful. But when changes come to our life, sometimes it takes us out of our comfort zone, our "box". You never know what the Lord is trying to teach you through whatever it is He has put in your path. And, you never know who else is learning new things as well. God's ways are not our ways, and therefore, we do not always understand His methods of teaching. But if we are faithful to accept whatever He puts in our path, without grumbling and complaining, we might be surprised to find out that yes it is refining us, rubbing off the rough edges. He is indeed molding us and shaping us into what He needs us to be. We just need to allow that to happen. We can't go around blaming others. "If it weren't for this job, I could do this", "If it weren't for this spouse, I would be happy", "If it weren't for this illness, I could do this". Truth is, nothing touches us that God doesn't allow to touch us. So, if God allows it, why do we fight it so? Why do we regret it? Why do we wish it away? Gird up your loins, accept even the hard stuff, and do whatever God puts in your path, and do it in a way that would make God proud of you. He is your heavenly father. Yes, I hope I make Him smile from time to time.......